Baby Update!!

I will be 20 weeks pregnant on Thursday! I can not believe I'm just about half way done roasting my little one! My tummy really is popping out these days. In the last week, I've gotten many comments from coworkers that I'm starting to show. As I sit here and write this, I can feel the baby bouncing around inside me. Each day I'm feeling him or her more and more. It's so exciting. I still have moments were the joy overtakes me and I feel happiness move throughout my entire body. It really is the most amazing thing that has happened to me. If you have been here, you understand it. If you haven't experienced the anticipation of the birth of your own child yet, there are no words that can make you understand it. I often thought I understood how incredibly special and miraculous pregnancy was, but I didn't entirely. I'm convinced there's no way you can until you experience it for yourself.

In many ways I feel that it is so easy for me to be excited and overjoyed about our baby's development and birth. I get to share this experience with Casey. I feel lucky everyday. My husband is completely over the moon about becoming a father. He wants this just as much as I do. I don't know that all women get this. I look at our relationship and the bond we already have. I can not wait for it to strengthen and deepen as we begin the journey of parenthood together. It's almost funny to me because so far things have been easy....what you think might be BIG talks about important decisions happen so easily and without debate. We casually discussed last night who will be with us when the baby is born, what the first few weeks may look like, and who the baby's Godparents could potentially be. It's incredible to be in such sync with one another. I know that there will be disagreements that come too. Yet I think it is tremendously important for parents to be on the same page and I am so grateful that thus far doing that has come so easily. This shouldn't come as a surprise to me at all though. One of the reasons I fell in love with Casey so many years ago was because the importance he placed on being a father and our mutual dreams of having a family.

I decided to write down a synopsis of the thoughts that are going through my head and the actions I'm taking. I think it might be funny to read after the baby is born:

+ Signing up for the Bradley Method birthing class so I can prepare for a natural childbirth

+ Downloading music onto itunes so my ipod will be set with relaxing sounds for labor..I feel like this might bring some good laughs after your arrival.

+ Playing you music while you're in my tummy....your brain is developing the different sensory centers right now. Currently, you are listening to Cannon in D and I'm crying. I LOVE this song. One year ago this weekend I walked down the aisle to this song and married your daddy. God, I love my life!

+ Casey (per usual) way over did our anniversary gift exchange. One of the things he gave me was a new a bottle of Gucci perfume. I love it! Not only does it smell incredible, I have always had a strong memory for attaching a particular scent to moments in my life. I love that I will have a scent that reminds me of our first wedding anniversary and being pregnant with our first child.

+ I need to get some more maternity clothes. Dana and Debbie lent me their stash which is AWESOME! I'm loving wearing dresses and skirts right now! I feel like I'm still in between maternity pants (too big) and my own pants (too small) so the belly bands are getting lots of use! It still feels funny to wear my pants unbuttoned to work. I keep having visions of them at my ankles!!

+ I'm excited to have a few ideas for the nursery design. My mom picked out a fabric swatch that I love and am using as my color inspiration for the room!

+ I'm having fun watching my tummy grow and rubbing my baby bump! I love that I can feel you now!

+ My friends and family have already started planning showers for me. I feel so loved and the idea of having a shower, creating a guest list, and registering for gifts makes this seem so real. In many ways, I feel like I'm just living in the moment. I'm loving each day of my pregnancy for what it is....I wonder when the nesting instinct really sets in?

+ I'm feeling done with work. I've had a hard start the year and I'm really dreading each day. In some ways I wonder if this is God sending me a message. I wonder if some of these things are happening so it is easier for me to leave next year. In many ways, I feel like the timing is right (given there be a new job opportunity), yet it will be tremendously hard to leave what I know, students whom I love, and talent coworkers who have become my friends. I wonder if some of these bumps are being put there to help me further down the road. These thoughts consume a lot of me, yet, I'm trying my best not to think about it now. There's nothing I can do now other than save save save!

Okay! Have to get the Badger game on! GO BUCKY! More updates to come! Our ultrasound is Tuesday!